So every day i change, and every day gets a little different, sometimes harder, most of the times easier. I'm coming to terms with things better now, not so angsty, more understanding. Running long distances helps put things in perspective, and i've been doing a lot of that lately.
I can scoff instead of resent the brooding 17 year old fashionista i pass at 7am in the percy underpass, with her frail grip on her morning smoke. I can accept that most smokers live in complete denial that their butts are garbage and pollution, and they'll always be on the sidewalk to be avoided or flattened once again by my heavy feet. I can smile at the 20-something hip government dude on his way to the archives, halling back on heaven - his initial reason to get out of bed in the morning. Or the older more somber folks outside early in the morning at that weird group home with the awful green awning and park bench on glebe ave.. And all my friends and family and everyone else i know that smokes, i can accept it. I will probably still get annoyed if they interrupt a perfectly good conversation, activity, or pastime, to "take a break" and satisfy their addiction, but i'll learn to deal with it.
Its really amazing though how long it took my body to recover from it, but now that i'm through the worst, how much more efficient my body is... its really great, i wished i had done it sooner, but am very thankful its at least done with. My lungs work way better, my digestive system is definitely more functional, and i'm stronger. And i get more done because i'm taking less breaks... an arguable benefit.
When something has been a part of me for almost half my life, its hard to let go, and i'll be doing it forever (or at least as long as i did it for). And now, i'm happy about that too.
I do have to say though, without the smoke breaks to take from hardcore renovations, beers sure are going down smoother.