Sunday, January 27, 2008

#705 at camcong

I'm basically addicted to #705 at camcong right now. Its their spicy veggie soup. It is occasionally hit or miss, possibly depending on my mood, but lately its been bang on. Lots of veggies, right amount of noodles, quite spicy, not too greasy, no massive chunks of galangal, lots of good tofu, its really really good. However, i was quite disappointed last night when we showed up at 8:10, and they were closed. Still had customers, but closed. Their sign says they close at 9pm. But its private enterprise, they can do whatever the pump they want. And because they have one of the best most addictive products in ottawa to myself right now, i can't afford to boycott based on this one early close...

So we went down to new pho bo ga la and i got a much more traditional s9, pho with bbq pork and shrimp wonton's. Not nearly the same addictive soup, but good nonetheless.

I think spicy foods are addictive to me. A few years ago, i wasn't much of a fan. Now i actually crave them... another sign of my feverously addictive personality.

We're going to the dominican republic in a few days. Its going to be boring as hell, and perfect as hell. It'll give me time to come to terms with many things, including my various food addictions. And to read some books, get a tan, listen to tunes, brainstorm, tune out, swim, and hopefully not get food poisoning or anything worse.

Friday, January 18, 2008

hypocrisy and the non-smoker

I was walking out of my building at work today, and a few steps in front of me were 2 folks, smokes in hand. Before opening the door to the outside, the first lady lights her smoke, ensures it is lit, then proceeds to open the door. Not only did i have to wait a second or two for them to proceed, i had to hall in her ass air.

I was in the midst of a conversation, and quite taken offguard, and meek, so i didn't say anything. All i could muster was a dirty snarl... which i'd like to believe is quite out of character. But holy fuck, whats with people?

This lady, who'd been smoking at least 10 years by the looks of her, should be fuckin capable of lighting her life stick on fire with a bit of breeze on a zero degree day... but no, she decided she should light it inside so all folks that have to walk through for the next hour, not to mention the folks in her midst (ie me), will have the unpleasant experience of halling back her ass air. The air she breathes is ass, she exhales ass, death, and intoxication, and feels its her absolute privilege to do so.

Well, its not a privilege, its not a right, its a demon. One that haunts people every second of every day, and infects those around them in ways their blindness renders them unable to see. How would you feel if you were in the midst of an intense emotional conversation with someone, really breaking ground, and then you find out that they're really only invoking a steadily declining 50% of their brain on the conversation. That more and more they're mind is actually drifting off into other areas, areas that are beginning to manipulate their coherent then-and-now. This is the mind of an addictive personality, one that smokes at least once every hour or two, every single day of their lives, and feels it is there right/privilege/gift to interrupt any and every experience of their lives, every hour or two, to satisfy the urge. Its not their fault that other non-smokers are inconvenienced by this, they have to put up with it, cause its the smokers right.... ha!!

Smoking is great in so many ways, and so bad in so many more ways. Its fuckin pathetic, and its people like the lady smoking in the entranceway that give smokers a bad name. Now that i'm not really one of them, i see it/them in a different light. I miss it. And i'm a total hypocrite. I'm beginning to get insulted when someone would rather spend time destroying their body and satisfying a pathetic urge to bring chemical happiness to their lives than spend that time with me. But thats what it does. It makes you feel there is nothing else more important. Well, life is more important. There is a time and place for everything, and if the smoking culture around here wasn't so god damn all encompassing and controlling, it wouldn't be so bad. But everyone around here feels its their right to do it all the time, anywhere, anytime.

I can't believe i used to throw my butts out the car window. Totally acceptable for me and all my friends. How fucking blind was i? Why is the world my ashtray? My city, streets, sidewalks. As if i just pitched my nasty butts. Thats fucking pathetic, as was i.

I could totally go for a smoke right now. I wouldn't blow it in anyones face. I wouldn't smoke it inside. I'd put the butt in the ashtray/garbage. It would make me *feel* good. It would provide pleasure, and it would be sweet for a little while. But i can't go through the ridiculous lifestyle/introspective interruption it causes again. It is a huge part of who you are. If you're defined by your actions, what does it mean if a third of your actions for your entire life are to satisfy a pathetic chemical urge? So massive it's scary. And it kills you physically too...

I'm hoping the cravings go away at some point. Sorry i'm a hypocrite, maybe i can quit that too at some point.

Monday, January 7, 2008

bitchin bout broth

I needed to get some vegetarian broth on sunday for a soup i was going to make. Nothing fancy, just some good old gluten free, relatively low sodium broth. Gluten free cause of allergies, and low sodium because i like seasoning things myself.

I found myself in loblaws. I'm finding less and less reason to shop at loblaws these days. I needed a few other things, a cuke, broccoli and cauli... their broccoli, while cheap, was shit as only the dregs were left, and no cauli was to be found. Their cukes (english that is) were small and pathetic. I decided to bail on produce and get it at farm boy down the road, and headed for broth and soy milk.

I first went into the "organics" or specialty section (this is the south keys loblaws btw). In there i did find 2 types of broth, but only the PC organic type was available in the veggie variety. I was SHOCKED and APPALLED to learn that the organic PC veggie broth has over 900 mg of sodium in a cup... WHAT!!! This is RIDICULOUS!!! Why the hell do they need to lace it so badly!!! I can't in good conscience buy that, thats just way too salty considering i needed at least a litre... i kept looking.

I went to the regular broth section... i found some cambells veggie broth in a smaller, likely half litre container. If i recall, it said it was at 400 or 500 mg... but of course, the serving size changed to 2/3 of a cup, making it better, but still about 700 mg sodium per cup. Not to mention their deception, how could i ever support such a product with deceptive portion manipulation!!! Bastardos!!!

At this point i just want to point out that i'm not a massive fan of salt, and seeming obsession with low sodium products is not primarily because of health. I simply want to use ONLY enough of it to bring the flavours out, and for this purpose i am greatly respectful of its powers.

Anyways, now i'm bitching herbivorously the loblaws name under my breath... i head to the soy milk section, to find out all they have is the shite silk stuff left, no regular so good, and definitely no so nice. I'm pissed. I got the obligatory cereal and some pompadum's as a constellation prize, hit the self serve isle, and hoped i'd never have to enter again save to use that coin changing machine if it doesn't charge too much (anyone know what it charges, it doesn't say...?).

So to farm boy. Ahhh farm boy. I don't care if your garlic comes from china too, i'm still shopping there. I found everything i needed. Organic veggie broth, "Pacific" brand... it ended up tasting decently enough, and was *only* 530 mg of sodium per cup. I found my so nice regular milk, which was convenient too as i wasn't sure they'd have it. Got some bananas, a beefy english cuke, and was out in no time saving 4c because of my supplied bag.

In closing, loblaws is getting under my skin, and farm boy is climbing the ranks. I still prefer herb n spice where possible, but if i have specific needs and need to go out anyways to say the depot or liquor stores, i'm gonna opt to save a few bucks at the bigger stores (most of the time). But what pisses me off the most is the amount of sodium in broths... i guess thats the flavour, and better tasting broths will sell more, but people are wising. I even overheard someone in loblaws NOT buy something because it contained "modified corn starch"... this is a good sign.

Thursday, January 3, 2008

i love food

I think food is likely my favorite thing in this world (when i say thing, i'm excluding people and interactions between them). It is just so good.

I planned on doing the lemon cleanse again this year. I started today. I will likely stop today too. I love food too much now. I also don't have much motivation for doing it, short of saying i wanted to, and i wanted to give my stomach a break. But i'm all confused now... just like the nicotine angels call down to me for company, so do the food sirens request i swallow them post chew. Oh my god i love food so much.

I would love to have some more camcong soup right now. It was my last meal last night. I'd also settle for peanuts in the shell.

I'll get through today, i'd feel like a mofo if i couldn't. But tomorrow is another school day...