Monday, November 28, 2005

painted busy household

So the painting, at least what is currently necessary, is done. The front, the burnt pumpkin, worked out super kickassedly. My bedroom, while bright orangy/yellow del sol, is good. The bathroom, smurf blue, is ok. Its all still quite ghetto, but looking less n less every day i'm here. Which, officially, this is my first full one. So i'm in good shape. Stuff is everywhere waiting for shelves to be built, and organization to occur, but it will, all in good time. I can't wait to rip the crap out of the floors and see whats going on underneath... can't sand till the spring, but at least i could make an inch or two of head room and walk on 4$ ghetto runner rugs from crappy tire for the winter.

In other news, what do people think of purely physical infatuation? When you see something or somebody that you just have a total desire for, but for little reason other than physical traits and mannerisms? The little dialogue that has taken place has been well scripted and predictable and little judge to base any real feelings on... is this a good thing or a bad thing? Is this feromonal, or is it fantasy? Worthy of consideration or best left to dream about? Is there any way to bridge the gap when the scripted dialogue is at least set in clay... that clay's pretty hard too. Straying from the script might arouse suspicion from the director... but i suppose the worst case is you'll be thrown out of the play, and your reputation, albeit in a smallish circle, will be forever tarnished. But i guess your resume will still expand. I'm willing to learn the hard way either way, but if anyone has opinions, let me know, i'll let you know what the director does if i do anything diddly in the decending dreary days.


  1. pure physical attraction is sweet, delicious lust... and should always, always, always at least be explored [assuming both parties are feeling the same way]. whether it tarnishes a reputation or image is secondary; it is consistently worth the experience.

    [in my eyes, anyway...]

  2. What about the reverse? Game is on, she's nice enough and acting into it, but just physically not doing it for you. You feel like a male shithead for thinking that way, but there it is.

    A: Try out a relationship anyway until something better comes up? (popular choice, delays hurting her maybe forever)
    B: Fumble around and be flakey weird to avoid a relationship? (her feelings hurt somewhat, you avoid looking like a total jerk)
    C: Tell her you're not feeling her physically? (maximum feeling hurt, maximum being a jerk)

  3. Hmm... well nonny, i think you're leaving out one important point - honesty. I like to think i'm honest to a sickening bile retching fault, and would and have gone with C in the past in this situation. However, i've also tried deluding myself with A, then that turns into B, and you realize you should've gone with C. I think there's slightly-dishonest yet less-hurful ways to do C, and it's probably the best bet if you're trying to be a "good person".

    As for the shithead part, thats really hard to avoid... i've thought women are female-shitheads too for not reciprocating my physical desire. Its selfish and subjective, but hey, attraction is.

  4. "It's not you, its me not being attracted to you."