Monday, September 5, 2005

labour intensive feelings

Ahh, the long weekend is over. It was a good long weekend, although now i find i'm getting all sentimental for a variety of reasons...

I was in winnipeg for a friends wedding. The wedding was great, all went as planned. I even got to do car decorations with my buddy with 30 min before the ceremony. Luckily there was a dollar store nearby and an affinity for tackiness amonst all involved.the carThe picture doesn't do it justice, we were quite proud, and we did get a few honks.

As with most weddings, there was drinking involved. It was really quite a bender for me and my buddy. On friday nite we checked out winnipeg. It's pretty drab but we managed to find a club that we'd probably never go to were it in ottawa, but in winnipeg it was a goldmine. And we drank. The day of the wedding, hungover, we also drank. Sunday was mostly a right off spent briefly in the gym and pool, and mostly in bed. Then, we went to the happy couple's home, and drank some more. Big surprise. I was glad to get home, but still feel woozy.

Some points of note:

I smoked. Wedding nite it started, had 5 or so, then probably the same on sunday. I don't give two shits either, i wanted too, i enjoyed it, and thats that. I didn't smoke today, and didn't really want too... only minor temptation. We'll see if i can keep this up.

I realized in the cab home from the airport today that i really do love ottawa as a city. I think its great, the people are mostly great, the sites are great, the places are great, hell our airport is pretty great. This is certainly my home, and probably will be for the rest of my life i think. Part of it is my personality and my social life with friends, but thats fine. I like being comfortable, feeling i have a place and that i belong somewhere, and i certainly feel that here. Compared to what i saw of winnipeg, we got it so dang good here.

There was this beer store in winnipeg that was so drab and scary, and so representative of lower class, blue collar, alcoholic life. It was depressing and scary, but i was there buying beer in my nice shirt surrounded by flies, filth, smells, and a cigarette machine, and was as much a part of its rhythm as the rest. It was weird, and summarizes my reoccuring saddness about the misfortune and hardships in everyones lives.

I finished the 6th book in the sword of truth series. The books always start slow, but once you're within 250 pages of the end, they pick up and get really good. I get extra emotional when i'm hungover, lacking seratonin or something as is usual with emotional exhibitions, and the book had me welling up waterworks for the entire last 50 pages. It reminded me of some burnt out sunday of my adolesence lacking emotional stability and crying openly at some corny made for tv movie i can't even remember anymore.

And lastly, this is the time (day actually) of the year where summer starts fading away and cool winds approach. This day used to be so hard during public and high school, so reflective, so sentimental, so depressing. The future shouldn't be depressing, but looking to see another year of school was hard. Things are very different now, there is no school, but that feeling is still there. The future is very bright for me now, yet i feel gloom surrounding me. As an attempt to brighten my mood, I think i'll play some guitar on the front step and pretend i'm in grade 12, and for once, looking forward to a new school year....

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